The Impromptu Trip of 2021

It was early June 2021. The last day of school ended just the week prior, and summer break was officially in full force. We didn't really have any plans for the summer...at least not to go out of town. For the most part, we planned to follow our usual summer routine. Go to the pool, visit some new-to-us parks, go to some local festivals, eat copious amounts of ice cream, and watch some movies here and there. But we hadn't made any plans to go on a trip, not even a staycation. 

One afternoon, John let me know that his work schedule had changed and that he would be able to take some vacation days earlier than we anticipated, in addition to his scheduled days off. We wondered what to do since the boys weren't in school, I was still a stay-at-home mom and wife at the time, and now he had some extra days off from work. 

I had been dreaming of going on a vacation for months at that point, and it seems like John had the same idea because he said, "What do you think about going to the mountains?"

He saw the hesitation on my face. I'm a planner, especially when it comes to trips. I like to plan trips well in advance, even if it's only a couple of hours away. There's just too much to do, especially with three small children. We have to pack clothes, shoes, toiletries, electronics (chargers, etc.), and snacks. So many things. So many lists to go over. The thought of making a last-minute trip made me anxious.

"We don't have to go," John says. "We can still do a lot of stuff here."

"I'll think about it," I said.

Later that afternoon, or maybe early evening, I grabbed my laptop and began looking up events in the mountains and places to stay. I had been dying to finally visit Helen, Georgia, for a while now. It looked like the perfect place to go for the summer and escape the heat for a few days. While the boys were playing, John came upstairs and saw that I was looking up cabins and Airbnbs. I smiled at him.

"What do you think? A cabin or a hotel room?" I asked.

"Cabin!", we both said at the same time.

"If we're going to the mountains, we might as well go for the cabin. Make it somewhat authentic," I said.

"Authentic would be more of a tent," John said.

"Um, no. We are not sleeping in a tent," I laughed.

That evening, we booked the cabin for a few days. The kicker: the first available day they had for the cabin, for the number of days we planned to stay, was the next day. It was either book that night and leave tomorrow for Helen, or we wouldn't be able to go at all. Cue the stress of packing late into the night. After packing and double-checking everything, we were as ready as we could be.

The next morning, after we all had breakfast, packed everything into our car, and locked up, I called Mami right as we were about to head out.

"Mami, if you try to get in touch with me and I don't answer...don't panic. We are ok. We're going to be out of town for a few days," I said.

"What?" she asked, surprised.

"We're going to the mountains, so we may not have the best cell reception, especially when we go out on the trails and in the parks," I said.

"When did you plan this?" she asked.

"It was a last-minute trip," I answered.

"You never make last-minute trips," she replied, still surprised. 

"I know," I smiled. 

"Ok. Well, have fun and be safe. Let me know when you guys get there," she says.

The trip was amazing, and we had a blast. It was fun to go off script and not have an itinerary on our trip. We simply went where we wanted to go and experienced a new place without a schedule. To this day, Helen is still one of my favorite places to visit.

That impromptu trip really taught me a lot. It made me realize that it's ok to just wing it sometimes. I don't need to have a rigid plan for everything. It's ok to step out of my comfort zone. Honestly, being able to surprise the boys with this random trip to the mountains was probably the highlight of the trip. Have I detoured from my routine and gone off script since then? Yes, and honestly, it's been worth it. The initial hit of anxiety and stress quickly moves away when I think of all the possible memories we can make. It makes me think of my siblings, who are always carefree and all about spontaneity. Although I wouldn't say I will always be spontaneous, I admit I am now more confident about going off script and letting loose. We only have one life to live, and as the kids say, "YOLO" (or do they not say that anymore?). Here's to embracing more unscripted days. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale —an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Unscripted".

2026 Anticipations

The anticipation of...

The first snow / ice storm of the season / complaining of the cold while dreaming of warmer weather / the first winter walk on the Silver Comet Trail / finally attempting to make homemade bread / putting fresh flowers in my new vase / wintering and embracing the stillness of winter / cuddling with my kids / winter break / weekly happy and grateful lists / board games with my kids and husband / date nights with my love / more light / the subtle signs of spring's impending arrival / seeing the first bouquets of tulips at the grocery store / farmers market season / perhaps a trip to the mountains or a trip to Savannah / more adventures with my family / taking refresher courses related to my degree / making a decision regarding graduate school / new career goals and making some changes / more writing / more creating / more documenting / spring break / lighting seasonal scented candles / especially an ocean or water scented candle / hiking at Kennesaw Mountain / summer break / welcoming and embracing the summer solstice / baking a strawberry pie / s'mores / the first sip of Morir Soñando / complaining of summer's heat while dreaming of cooler weather / the new school year / Fall and all of its wonders / Halloween and spooky season / buying new Halloween costumes/the first cup of apple cider / going to a pumpkin patch / wishing Fall would never end / October through December / holiday season / buying a new holiday ornament / making all the lists / looking back at 2026 / being grateful for another year.

Photo by Anita Austvika on Unsplash

And I Become Her

When I was in my 20s, I had slightly dreaded the day when I would turn 30. And I'm not even really sure why. Perhaps it's because I've always noticed that most people are settled in their 30s, and it seems many expect people in their 30s to already be married, have children, have a career, and so on. My 20s were a whirlwind. I got engaged to my fiancé (now my husband), graduated from college, got married, and had three sons. I became a stay-at-home mother and wife, leaving the workforce to care for my young family. I was and still am truly grateful that I was able to do this. 

I am now 34, and I can honestly say that I love this decade, this era, that I am in. Yes, I feel more settled than I ever have before. I have an amazing husband and three amazing sons. As my children grew older and are now in school full-time, I took the opportunity to return to work, which brought up some feelings for me (mainly feeling unsettled), but that's a story for another day. However, I feel more comfortable and confident. Yesterday, I looked in the mirror and noticed a few more grays in my hair. I smiled instead of internally panicking. I consider it a blessing that I get to experience this. 

Now that I'm in my 30s, I've noticed I'm better at taking care of my health. I'm much more mindful of what I consume. I value my me-time and time in general. I don't feel the need to prove myself, and I know what I want. I advocate for myself much more than I did when I was in my early 20s. I'm better at letting things go now than when I was younger. I'm also giving myself a lot more grace. I'm starting to really understand who I am, what I want, and what I need. I know the kind of woman I've always wanted to be, the woman I've always dreamed of. And I'm taking the steps to become her. And I welcome this journey of becoming with open arms, an open heart, and so much hope.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale —an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Become".

Simple Joys

The simple joy of escaping to the Silver Comet Trail. The simple joy of passing by yellow jonquils—my city's flower. The simple joy of that first sip of coffee. The simple joy of walking into a new local business and realizing that it will be one of your go-to spots. The simple joy of reading a book at your favorite spot in the house. The simple joy of going to the library and really understanding what a gift libraries are. The simple joy of taking a long, hot bath after an exhausting day. The simple joy of hearing my children's laughter. The simple joy of finally having time to watch a guilty pleasure on TV. The simple joy of being held in the arms of the love of my life. The simple joy of hearing your mami's voice. The simple joy of laughing so hard your stomach hurts. The simple joy of wearing your favorite sweater or favorite loungewear. The simple joy of creating art. The simple joy of watching a child learn and experience something new. The simple joy of nostalgia. The simple joy of the first day of farmers market season. The simple joy of the first day of Food Truck Tuesday season. The simple joy of having a picnic. The simple joy of solving a crossword puzzle on a lazy Sunday morning. The simple joy of an empty laundry basket—a rare treat. The simple joy of discovering a new-to-me artist. The simple joy of getting my hair done at the salon by my favorite hair stylist. The simple joy of self-care. The simple joy of browsing my bookshelf. The simple joy of receiving happy mail. The simple joy of taking a nap on a random afternoon. The simple joy of being able to sleep in. The simple joy of eating a favorite treat. The simple joy of learning something new. The simple joy of embracing life's simple pleasures. The simple joy of embracing the stillness. The simple joy of embracing your softness. The simple joy of realizing that you're in your favorite era. The simple joy of being. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale —an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Simple". 

In the stillness

March is often a chaotic and emotional month for me. It's the birth and death anniversary of my baby brother. When I think about peace, I think about the little moments that have comforted me over the past few weeks as the waves of grief ebb and flow.

1. I go for a walk on the Silver Comet Trail. I walk for miles and miles and miles. The weather is warmer now. The flowers are blooming, and the plants are coming back to life. I crave the stillness. The only sounds are the birds singing and the squirrels and chipmunks running across the trail and into the bushes and trees. I think about anything and everything. Sometimes, a runner passes by, and we share a brief nod or a smile. Sometimes, I'm surprised by a friend or coworker, and we stop to chat. And then we're on our way. I continue to walk and walk and walk.

2. I discover a new-to-me song on one of my favorite Apple's playlists, Chill Mix. Skott's Overcome has been on repeat. I always stop what I'm doing, and my eyes well up when she sings, "Do you ever wonder what it's like losing what you cannot be without?" And I wonder, is it strange to miss someone who you never got to meet? Still, I mourn. Still, I find comfort in music. 

3. I reread Hello Grief by Alessandra Olanow. The images and words are much needed and appreciated. Although it's a quick read, I love that there were some great reminders. 

4. I sit at my favorite spot in my home, the bay window in my dining room. I light a candle and smell the fresh flowers. I pull out my art and memory-keeping supplies and pour my emotions onto paper. It's the first time in weeks (it may very well have been a month or so) that I've actually used my crafty supplies. I realized how much I missed creating and how much I needed to make something—anything—with my hands.

5. After the boys are in bed, John and I watch a show on TV. When we finally decide to go to bed, he senses I'm feeling down. He listens while I tell him how I'm feeling and holds me until I fall asleep. I'm grateful that it doesn't matter if I need to speak or simply be held; John is always there.

6. Tonight, I sit alone on the living room couch. I sit in the stillness of the night. It's well past bedtime, and John and the boys are asleep. I allow myself to feel my emotions and grieve privately. I end up crying. I cry for my mother, who had to endure the loss of a child. No parent should ever have to go through that. I cry and wonder how she managed to overcome that loss. I will forever be in awe of Mami. I cry for my older brother and sisters because we never got to meet our baby brother. I wonder if they still grieve for him. I cried for myself and everything I had hoped for my little brother, Mike. I cry for Mike. I cry because he didn't get to experience life. He didn't get to see this world. I cry because I feel like we were robbed of his life. I cry because the "what-ifs" (and the could've, would've, should've) still plague my mind. I cry because I can only imagine what life would have been like if Mike were here...if he had lived. I cry and cry and cry. And when I stop, I embrace the stillness of the night, and for a little bit, I feel a bit of relief, comfort, and peace. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Peace."

Photo by Jun on Unsplash

Love Is...

Love is...

Complex, but also simple. Beautiful and messy. Exciting and scary. Breathtaking. Showing up and caring. Knowing your person. Setting up the Keurig the night before so it's ready first thing in the morning. Switching the load of laundry. Listening to their needs. Giving them your undivided attention. Surprise flowers (even grocery store flowers). Spending time together. When you say, "You're my person." Remembering the little things. Exploring new places. Visiting favorite places together. Running errands together. Going to Costco on a Saturday morning (yes, on Saturday morning). Filling up their gas when you notice they forgot. Making new traditions and sticking with old ones, too. Being reliable and keeping your word. Admitting your mistakes. Apologizing and accepting their apologies. Not going to bed angry at each other. Setting boundaries and respecting boundaries. Practicing trust. Sharing the last slice of cheesecake. Laughing so hard at jokes that you feel like you can't breathe. Silent communication (i.e., you don't need to say anything at the moment; just being near each other is enough). Sharing the blanket. Reminding your love that you're proud of them (no matter how big or small the win is). Knowing when to give space. Having a go-to restaurant. Sharing your favorite things. Asking how their day went. Holding hands. Big hugs and kisses. When you (still) get "butterflies" in your stomach. When you still blush no matter how long you've been together. Learning how to compromise. Knowing when to let go. Knowing when to stay. Being honest with each other...always. One of the greatest, most incredible gifts. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale —an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Love."

Photo by micheile henderson on Unsplash

The Awakening

The world feels quiet in winter, but this burst of creativity is bringing me life. For years now, I've noticed my creativity seems blocked during November and December. Perhaps this is because winter is my least favorite season; it gets dark early and is too cold. However, just as I noticed that my creativity is blocked during late fall and the early days of winter, I have noticed that my creativity comes back with a vengeance in January. Perhaps it's a little birthday present from the universe sent just for me. 

I used to hate that my birthday was in January. Yes, I am a winter baby, and I often thought how strange it was that this was the season I was born. It was the season I disliked. However, as I've gotten older, I've come to look forward to January. 

I love that my birthday happens to be in the first month of the year. It's the beginning of a new chapter, which may be why my creativity reawakens. I look at January as a celebration, a promise, a fresh start, a blessing, and a gift. I now honor the month of January. I saw a video about two months ago that has stuck with me. The man said, "It's a privilege to be alive. It's a privilege to make things." Truer words were never spoken.

Most people may be excited about a new year or a fresh start. Some also believe you shouldn't wait for January to begin anew, and I agree. Don't hold back whenever inspiration hits. Don't feel you must wait until a new year to start something new. This year, I just want to create and play without fear or expectation of perfection. It seems like it's a new era. 

This burst of creativity is a mixed bag of art. From cooking to painting to writing, I find comfort in creating using these art forms or mediums I gravitate to. I also crave trying new things. I've tried a few new recipes, tried some new techniques, and signed up for some classes. I find inspiration from the creative communities I've joined. 

This burst of creativity is bringing me life. It's gotten me out of winter's slumber, and I have finally awakened. For that, I am grateful. I cannot wait to see what I create in this new year. I can't wait to see how far I go.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale — an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Alive."

Photo by Natasha on Unsplash

Subtle Little Whispers from the Universe

Dear Universe,

After feeling unsettled for the past few weeks, I feel so much more hopeful. I now know what I don't want and am much closer to deciding which route I want my career to go. For the past few weeks, it appears you've been trying to tell me something. There have been little hints, little sprinkles of clues that I've noticed throughout the days. For instance, I've seen many more job postings or volunteer positions for the two fields that interest me. I've been noticing many more things related to the career(s) that interest me. I've also been having vivid, recurring dreams of two different paths. Yes, two different paths, but both paths are promising. I've also noticed the number "2". 

After a couple of rough days in one week, I questioned why I was taking so long to get to the next phase of my plan. It didn't hit me until recently that I realized I had become used to my current work. The what-ifs are terrifying to think of. Although my interests have changed, and I would like to move to a different position, I realized that I am so used to the routine that I have. I'm sure you know I'm not big on changes, but this change would be beneficial. You know that old saying "Old habits...".

But, Universe, those rough days appeared to be the breaking point because, oddly, they inspired and encouraged me to take a massive step in my personal growth. I like to think that you're sending me these little whispers. The job postings, volunteer positions, encouraging talks with my coworkers and mentors, recurring dreams, and numbers may have been subtle little whispers from you, but those rough days seemed more like a scream. And I want you to know that I hear you loud and clear. 

Sincerely,

The woman who is finally closer to making a decision.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Whisper."

Photo by Baraa Jalahej on Unsplash

Tender Heart

I feel like I'm going through a season of tenderness. My entire body has been going through waves of exhaustion and feeling untethered. My heart has especially been feeling fragile.

The election left my heart fractured. I'm so distraught and saddened by the results, the state of our country, and what's to come. I'm currently torn over whether to stop watching and reading the news, but I also want to be kept up to date with current events. 

My youngest niece was born this month. I was so excited to finally meet her. As I held her, I wondered what her future would look like. I remember telling her, "Welcome to this wild world, Vivi." I hope the world becomes a better, safer place for my children, nieces, and nephews. I remind myself that our family comes from a long line of strong and resilient women. I remind myself that there is hope. With new life...comes hope. 

Motherhood has me in a whirlwind of emotions. My sons are in different stages of childhood. My youngest son is not yet in his preteen or teen years, so seeing his independence emerging is a joy. My oldest son is in his teens, and my middle son will soon join in that stage. I am absolutely not ready for the puberty years. It's starting to hit me that they are growing up, and my youngest son will be our last baby. I just want to hold on to their innocence for as long as possible. However, watching them grow and move into different stages is an honor. For that, I am grateful.

To combat this season of tenderness, I'm finding comfort in spending time with my family. I find comfort in reading good books and my favorite newsletters, listening to my favorite music, watching all the cozy holiday movies, and making art. I find comfort in drinking seasonal hot chocolates and indulging in a sweet treat or two. I'm finding comfort with my cozy socks and favorite blanket. I'm combating this season of tenderness with all the things that bring me so much joy and a little bit of peace. This feeling of tenderness may be here, but it's not here to stay. And that brings me so much comfort.

Photo by Kitera Dent on Unsplash

Those Sleepless Nights

For the past few weeks, I've been feeling unsettled, which is noticeable at night. I wake up almost like clockwork now from 2 to 4 AM. After laying in bed for what seems like an eternity and listening to my husband, John, softly snoring beside me, I quietly get up. I walk to my sons' room and sleepily smile at how peaceful they look. I think to myself how fast the years have gone by. I remember when my sons were babies and woke up every couple of hours to feed. I remember how restless I felt those nights and how I'd stay up and watch them even after they went to sleep. The fear of SIDS made me anxious. Those sleepless nights seemed endless. But nights like these are a different kind of unsettled, restless, sleepless night. 

After ensuring the boys are okay, I go downstairs to my favorite spot in our home - the dining room with the big bay window overlooking our front lawn. I think about the past few months and contemplate the big decisions I must make soon regarding continuing my education and career choices. I wonder if there's another mother out there who is wide awake and is in a similar situation. Is this how every former stay-at-home mother feels once her children are older and she returns to the workforce? Is there another mother wondering if she should go into a completely different field or stay in a position she's already familiar with? Is there a mother out there who is slowly realizing what she wants out of her job or career? Is there a mother out there wondering how she will balance all the appointments, events, and kids' extracurricular activities and everything else that comes with being a wife and mother while also having to plan out time to study for her master's degree and complete assignments? Is there a mother out there weighing all her options while feeling grateful and overwhelmed about those options?

As I consider all my options, my conflicted feelings about them emerge. To ease my mind, I make hot chocolate and hope my favorite drink will soothe me. Just as I take the first sip, I feel strong arms wrap around me. 

John quietly asks, "Can't sleep again?"

"Yes," I say. 

He nods and reminds me that everything will work out in the end. We talk for a few more minutes, and I finish my hot chocolate before we go back to bed. 

Before I fall back asleep, I realize I need to give myself some grace and be kinder to myself. I remind myself that although having too many options can be overwhelming, taking time to research those is okay. I'm learning new things about what I want career-wise. 

I think of what my husband said to me. Everything will work out in the end. This replays in my head until I inevitably fall asleep. Although I'm sure there will be a few more sleepless nights, for now...I feel content. I feel at ease.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Sleepless."

Photo by Fabrice Villard on Unsplash

And so I'll linger

1. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of Linger is as follows:

• To be slow in parting or in quitting something: Tarry
• To remain existent, although often waning in strength, importance, or influence
• To remain alive although gradually dying
• To be slow to act: Procrastinate
• To move slowly: Saunter

2. Another school year down. This school year was a big one for all three of my sons. The school year marked a lot of milestones for my sons. It was my oldest son, Michael, last year in middle school, my middle son, Gabriel, first year in middle school, and my youngest son, Raphael, started kindergarten. My heart felt full, but it also felt like it was breaking because it really started to hit me that my boys were getting older. I found (and still find) myself wishing time would just slow down.

3. I found myself almost panicking at my oldest son's school open house. The school year had just started and teachers and admin were already talking about SATs and careers. They mentioned that the eighth graders could take the PSATs and that we should talk about what kind of careers our kids may want. I won't even try to pretend to say that I immediately looked through all the flyers and paperwork the school gave us to look over. I definitely procrastinated a little, but we did eventually have a talk about his class options and careers.

4. My two older sons are starting to show signs of wanting more independence, especially my oldest son. He's already talked about where he would like to work for his first job. How strange it is that sometimes out of nowhere, I'm hit with the realization that I have a teenager. A teenager! Even typing those words blew my mind a little. In just a few years, I will have an adult child. I'm sure every parent says this, but my sons will always be my babies, no matter how old they are.  

5. The other day, Raphael asked to see some of his baby photos. I happily obliged but was curious as to why my six-year-old suddenly wanted to see baby photos of himself and his brothers. When I asked him why he wanted to see their baby photos, he told me, "I want to see how little I was. I'm big now." As I pulled up some baby photos, I nodded while smiling down at him and said, "You guys got big so fast; time flew by". Raphael laughed and smiled while he continued to look at the photos. He seemed to be in awe of the photos of when I was pregnant which amused me and gave me so much joy. Looking at those photos brought back so many great memories. It is so true that the days are long, but the years are short. 

6. One afternoon, the boys were unusually quiet. I crept along the hallway and peeked into the living room. My heart nearly burst at the sight before me. There on our large round chaise lounge, the boys were reading a book together. I lingered by the hallway for a bit, committing the sight to memory. And then, of course, I took a photo because I wanted something tangible, something that I could include in my memory book.

7. They say, "Time waits for no one." While that is true, I'm sure there will be times where I'll want to linger while savoring and holding on to these precious moments with my sons for just a bit longer. And so, I'll linger.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the post in the series "Linger".

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

What You Can't See

A mom coming home after work and running errands / The absolute exhaustion on my face / A mom and educator who is ready for summer / The absolute joy that the countdown is giving me / The hope I have that next year will be better / The look of relief that I survived this work year / How much I've grown this year / How much I've learned this year / The state of confusion that I'm currently in / The look on my face after realizing that having too many options is both a good thing and a bad thing / A mom who is wondering what to cook for dinner / A mom who is grateful and excited to find out that her husband already started making dinner / The list of things that I have to get done / The list of things I hope to do during summer / The hopes and dreams I have / How proud I am of my boys' accomplishments this year / The look on my face when the thought and fact that my kids really are growing up suddenly hits me hard / My anxiety popping up now that my oldest son is about to start high school / Me googling "Best first phone for teenager" / How grateful I am for my kids' doctors and modern medicine / How much my family's support has meant to me / How thankful I am for my husband and children /  My resilience despite the hardships that I endured / How far I've come / How far I will go.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Silhouette."

A Toast for 2024

Here's to a fresh start;

To the start of a new job.

To the start of school again...whether it's for you or your child(ren).

To the start of a new routine.

To the start of a new hobby.

//

Here's to the stillness of winter;

To the quiet mornings.

To the cold walks on your favorite trail.

To the bare trees and fallen leaves beneath your feet.

To the murmurations in the sky.

//

Here's to celebrations;

To those big and small wins.

To another year around the sun.

To new lives beginning.

To anniversaries.

//

Here's to little joys;

To a fresh journal.

To trips to the little bookstore around the block.

To slow dancing in the kitchen.

To those comforting sips of coffee first thing in the morning.

//

Here's to you;

To the lessons you'll learn this year.

To your hopes and dreams.

To all that you'll achieve.

To all the joy and wonder you'll experience.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Hello."

Photo by Alexandra Golovac on Unsplash

Dulce // Sweet

I come alive in the fall time. The early morning light at 7 AM is a welcome gift when Daylight Saving Time ends. I am not a morning person, but coffee is a tremendous help. That first sip of coffee before getting ready for work and taking the kids to school is such a comfort and absolutely glorious. 

For some reason, Mother Nature decides to be even more beautiful during fall. The moon constantly has me in awe and wonder on fall nights. I seek peace at the Silver Comet Trail and, often, will find myself walking for far longer than I usually would. 

I find myself listening much more to the sweet sounds of nature around me. The hoot of the neighborhood owl always brings a smile to my face. The falling leaves and the crunching sound they make as I continue my evening walk around the neighborhood. 

Saturday mornings are spent making big batches of banana chocolate chip waffles for the boys. This is when I usually listen to classic songs. Good music is heard all around. James Taylor is crooning How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) while my husband twirls me around. Sometimes, the boys smile and go back to watching their morning cartoons.

With the fall season comes cold and flu season. Of course, I always call Mami and ask for her remedios. Only her remedies for colds and sore throats will do. "Prepárate un té con limón y miel," she says. She'll insist that I make the tea along with a slew of other remedies. "La miel sabe dulce," she reminds me when I complain of making tea. She knows I hate tea, but it always works. It's true what they say: mothers know best. And every year, without fail, I call Mami to ask for her remedios despite knowing precisely what she'll recommend. I may be an adult, but I still find comfort in my mother's voice. Always have and always will.

The in-between of seasons sometimes has me feeling conflicted, especially when it's fall and signs of winter are appearing. With Halloween falling on the last day of October, November 1st seems to be the unofficial start to the holiday season. But fall still has a chokehold on me. However, I'll still listen to my fall playlist while throwing in a Christmas song or two. Fall always comes to an end, but it'll always have an everlasting hold on my heart. As the years go by, I hope to always remember the everyday moments and sweet sounds of my favorite season, fall.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Mellifluous."

Photo by Oliver Hihn on Unsplash

A List of Hauntings

A list of hauntings...

The witching hour. Those 3 AM thoughts. The creaking stairs. Wondering if I locked the front door at night. Wondering if I switched out the load of laundry. The never-ending to-do list. The mountain of laundry that still needs to be folded but is still in the basket...after 3 or 4 days. The mistakes of my rebellious years. The unfortunate hairstyle from middle school. The car accident I was in at 17. And the 2022 car accident. The highway. Not speaking up. Missed opportunities. Those moments of second-guessing myself. The deaths of my baby brother and grandmother. The What Ifs that will go unanswered. Unspoken words to lost loved ones and friends. The unknown cause of my water breaking and going into labor at 35 weeks. Wondering if I'm failing at motherhood. Realizing that my kids are growing up so fast. Realizing that my oldest son is only a few years away from being an adult. Wondering what life will be like for my children after I am no longer physically present. Time. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Haunted."

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

More Than Enough

We are in the last couple of weeks of summer vacation, and I keep reflecting on the past few weeks and the previous 12 months. I was counting down the days just a few weeks before summer vacation began. It was almost like a ritual. I was so excited to have the summer off and get some much-needed rest and relaxation while also wanting to do so much.

Now I'm here wondering if we did enough this summer. This was a big year for all of us, and ultimately, we decided not to go out of town this summer. Honestly, I just didn't have the patience to plan an out-of-town vacation. Instead, we decided to do different activities, visit some of our favorite spots, and see new-to-us places throughout the summer. But for some reason, it didn't seem enough was done.

Right now, I'm currently struggling with the word enough. I am wondering if I did enough this summer. I'm wondering if I'm doing enough at all. As a mother and wife, I'm constantly busy. There's always an errand, a chore, an event...there's always something to do. There's rarely enough time. 

I've started to put myself first, which sounds incredibly selfish despite everyone telling me it's not. The other day, my husband, John, told me, "You've done more than enough." This was after we had a long conversation where I told him about my fear of not doing enough over the years. How strange to be reminded that I have (and still am) raising three sons and taking care of a household. To be told that I always put myself last, that it's ok to put myself first, that I shouldn't feel guilty for doing things I want, and that it's ok to not do it all. 

That conversation with John was so needed and really put things into perspective. I was beginning to feel burned out. There were so many milestones over the past twelve months, and I'm so grateful for that, but sometimes I felt overwhelmed. Although the last few weeks of summer vacation helped me a lot and was absolutely a godsend, it wasn't until I had that conversation that I needed to remember that I needed to pace myself.

I can't do it all, but I do more than enough. I just have to remember that.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Enough."

Photo by Andrey Haimin on Unsplash

Summer Looks Like This: A Photo Essay

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Fun Mom Summer."

I Am A Writer

I am a writer. There I said it. I. Am. A. Writer. 

So many times, I've wondered if I should give myself this title. For years, when asked what I do for a living, I would respond that I am a stay-at-home mom and wife. When I included that I was a writer, some people would assume that my writing was just a hobby. To claim the title of writer, it seemed like I had to have a book published or have articles published in major publications. It was sometimes discouraging to feel like my writing didn't matter or that being a writer was just a silly dream. 

Sure, I may not have published a book, but I have had a couple of articles published. Although they were not published in "big name" publications, it was still amazing to have my work published. I was and still am proud of my work. My name may not be well known, but that is ok. I write for myself first. It's a form of self-care. It's my way of creating.

Times have changed. I am now in a new stage of motherhood, and I am currently back in the workforce. I am writing much more than I did in the past, and it's been a joy working on essays and stories. It's been essential to write and create in my journal. Now, I barely hesitate (I know, baby steps) when asked what I do for a living, and I always mention that I also write. I hold many titles, and although the titles of mother and wife are incredibly important to me and are a big part of my life, I am more than that. 

I am also a daughter, a sister, a friend, an artist, and so much more. And yes, that includes being a writer. So this is a reminder to myself: I am a writer and proudly claim this title. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Create Anyway."

Photo by Content Pixie on Unsplash

Little Whispers

It's 10 PM and way past my boys' bedtime. As usual, I walk by their room every night before bed. Almost always, I have to remind them that they need to stop talking to each other and go to sleep. And almost always, I get struck by memories of mami telling my older sister and me that we need to go to sleep instead of staying up late talking to each other or else we'll be too tired in the morning.

As I prepared to go to bed, I heard them quietly laughing and talking about how their day went at school and how much fun they had when they got home. Although they really did have to go to bed, I found myself smiling at their whispered conversation. After a few minutes, I reminded them again that they needed to go to sleep and gave them one last hug and beso. I said a silent prayer that my boys never lose their bond and that they always remember that they have each other to confide in. I hope that one day they look back at their childhood with a smile and remember and treasure those conversations they had with each other. 

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Overheard at Home."

Photo by Alen Rojnic on Unsplash

I Want to Thank Myself

I want to take this time to thank myself for finally folding the mountain of laundry that's been sitting in the basket for almost an entire week. Did I want to do it? No. Did I have to do it? Yes. Did I walk by that mountain of laundry and tell myself, "I'll take care of it in an hour?" Yes. Yes, I did. In fact, I said it multiple times. As I walked by that basket and did other things like wash dishes, clean the bathroom, cook dinner, make weekend plans, and do other day-to-day things, I knowingly ignored the mountain. What made me finally fold those dreaded clothes? Well, I needed my favorite pair of leggings, but most importantly, the clothes needed to be folded. In fact, the basket almost took me out a few times. It was indeed a problem, and yet, I was still tempted to ignore it. But did I ignore it? No. Finally, I decided to take on that mountain, and I did. So I want to thank myself for finally giving in and folding it. Surprisingly, I didn't need to iron anything. Small miracles, I suppose. But the good thing...the most important thing is that everything is folded and the basket is empty...for now. So I want to thank myself (and my playlist) for finally taking on the chore I hate most, folding clothes.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Acceptance Speech." 

Photo by Ingrid Hall on Unsplash