And so I'll linger

1. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of Linger is as follows:

• To be slow in parting or in quitting something: Tarry
• To remain existent, although often waning in strength, importance, or influence
• To remain alive although gradually dying
• To be slow to act: Procrastinate
• To move slowly: Saunter

2. Another school year down. This school year was a big one for all three of my sons. The school year marked a lot of milestones for my sons. It was my oldest son, Michael, last year in middle school, my middle son, Gabriel, first year in middle school, and my youngest son, Raphael, started kindergarten. My heart felt full, but it also felt like it was breaking because it really started to hit me that my boys were getting older. I found (and still find) myself wishing time would just slow down.

3. I found myself almost panicking at my oldest son's school open house. The school year had just started and teachers and admin were already talking about SATs and careers. They mentioned that the eighth graders could take the PSATs and that we should talk about what kind of careers our kids may want. I won't even try to pretend to say that I immediately looked through all the flyers and paperwork the school gave us to look over. I definitely procrastinated a little, but we did eventually have a talk about his class options and careers.

4. My two older sons are starting to show signs of wanting more independence, especially my oldest son. He's already talked about where he would like to work for his first job. How strange it is that sometimes out of nowhere, I'm hit with the realization that I have a teenager. A teenager! Even typing those words blew my mind a little. In just a few years, I will have an adult child. I'm sure every parent says this, but my sons will always be my babies, no matter how old they are.  

5. The other day, Raphael asked to see some of his baby photos. I happily obliged but was curious as to why my six-year-old suddenly wanted to see baby photos of himself and his brothers. When I asked him why he wanted to see their baby photos, he told me, "I want to see how little I was. I'm big now." As I pulled up some baby photos, I nodded while smiling down at him and said, "You guys got big so fast; time flew by". Raphael laughed and smiled while he continued to look at the photos. He seemed to be in awe of the photos of when I was pregnant which amused me and gave me so much joy. Looking at those photos brought back so many great memories. It is so true that the days are long, but the years are short. 

6. One afternoon, the boys were unusually quiet. I crept along the hallway and peeked into the living room. My heart nearly burst at the sight before me. There on our large round chaise lounge, the boys were reading a book together. I lingered by the hallway for a bit, committing the sight to memory. And then, of course, I took a photo because I wanted something tangible, something that I could include in my memory book.

7. They say, "Time waits for no one." While that is true, I'm sure there will be times where I'll want to linger while savoring and holding on to these precious moments with my sons for just a bit longer. And so, I'll linger.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale - an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the post in the series "Linger".

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash