And I Become Her

When I was in my 20s, I had slightly dreaded the day when I would turn 30. And I'm not even really sure why. Perhaps it's because I've always noticed that most people are settled in their 30s, and it seems many expect people in their 30s to already be married, have children, have a career, and so on. My 20s were a whirlwind. I got engaged to my fiancé (now my husband), graduated from college, got married, and had three sons. I became a stay-at-home mother and wife, leaving the workforce to care for my young family. I was and still am truly grateful that I was able to do this. 

I am now 34, and I can honestly say that I love this decade, this era, that I am in. Yes, I feel more settled than I ever have before. I have an amazing husband and three amazing sons. As my children grew older and are now in school full-time, I took the opportunity to return to work, which brought up some feelings for me (mainly feeling unsettled), but that's a story for another day. However, I feel more comfortable and confident. Yesterday, I looked in the mirror and noticed a few more grays in my hair. I smiled instead of internally panicking. I consider it a blessing that I get to experience this. 

Now that I'm in my 30s, I've noticed I'm better at taking care of my health. I'm much more mindful of what I consume. I value my me-time and time in general. I don't feel the need to prove myself, and I know what I want. I advocate for myself much more than I did when I was in my early 20s. I'm better at letting things go now than when I was younger. I'm also giving myself a lot more grace. I'm starting to really understand who I am, what I want, and what I need. I know the kind of woman I've always wanted to be, the woman I've always dreamed of. And I'm taking the steps to become her. And I welcome this journey of becoming with open arms, an open heart, and so much hope.

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale —an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Become".